I have a story for you. I don't want to keep beating a dead horse or cow or roach:-) In one diary, I let you know about the worst flight of my life. Well not so fast my little buck-a-roos. I think the worst just happened. Come with me my little friends, lets take a trip.
I am on a plane that is leaving Los Angeles for Philadelphia, all is well. The plane is packed, but that's okay as long as I am not sitting next to some hairy guy that uses my shoulder as a pillow (that has already happened twice, yuck):-( But that is another story. The plane is ready to go. I am in row 17, the aisle seat, there are three people sitting across from me in the same row. We take off, this is always fun for me, especially if I am sitting next to someone that does not like to fly. I love watching how big their eyes get when we hit a bump:-) I know it's mean but, it's fun.
Anyway, we are about twenty minutes into the flight when the two people across the aisle from me jump up. "What the hell?", I say. "What's up?"
The man and woman across from me are excited and in a tizzy;-) They are waving for the flight attendants (not stewardess). The flight attendants finally show up. The couple explain what just happened. Are you ready? You cannot even imagine what I am about to tell you;-) I've flown since the 80's. I've never seen or heard of this. Are you sure you want to know? Maybe this is the time to run the little children out of the room:-) Believe me, I did not want to be a witness to this.
Okay, here we go........................................... The older woman in the window seat of the same row across from me (I love old people);-) well, this person has had an accident. I know what you are thinking. No she did not barf, no, no, nooooooo! This poor woman has pooped herself:-( Yuck! Yikes! and Snikey! But it is not enough that she has had this unfortunate accident. It somehow got all over the arm-rest and the seat next to her. I felt so bad for this lady. But, I don't think that her seat mates were in a compassionate mood at the time. As I watched in shock, the flight attendants were running around trying to think of what to do first. It was organized chaos. Something from the Three Stooges meet a Haz-mat team. But, they finally got it together to work in teams of two. Now, so far this is funny to me, no not the woman, but the flight attendants. Think about it. How do you choose the two that will do the clean up? I know if it were me. I would have to drink all of the liquor from those little bottles to do the job. I would need to be stinkin' drunk (pardon the pun):-) But, first things first... The innocent couple were re-seated in first class (lucky jokers). Then the job of getting the pooper:-)(it's funny now) to the back and cleaned up. Again, more drinks please! And then the clean up crew. Here comes these two FA's with rubber gloves and mask to clean the seats. They even have a red bag, with the words HAZARDOUS MATERIAL on it. A bright red bag with big bold black letters. I am beside myself:-) It is not enough that this woman is embarrassed but, you bring out a bright red bag! The FA's put the seat cushions in the bag, they take paper towels and clean the area around the seats, and everything goes into the bag. I am in awe of these two ladies, I don't want them serving me drinks. But, I am in awe:-) After ten minutes or more, I need to use the facilities. As I enter the toilet, I see a curtain and hear sounds that let me know that this is where the second clean-up crew is working on the woman. Again, I am in awe of these people. By the way, I have not mentioned the smell, and I don't really want to think about it. I will just say that I turned on my air thing-ie above my seat as far as it would go. This works well until the air is re-cycled every ten minutes or so.:-( We are only twenty to thirty minutes into a five hour flight. If someone has a mule, I will let it kick me in the head now;-) I have stuffed tissue into my nose, I even stuck it in my ears but, I could not stop the smell from getting in. The Haz-Mat crews have finally finished cleaning the seat. I don't know where they will put the red bag and I don't care. But, I am wondering where they will sit the lady.... Take a guess what they came up with!
They march this lady out to the same row and sat her down next to yo boy! Yes! They put her back in the same row. I could not help but think that this was some sort of punishment. I felt so bad for the poor lady. This poor soul just sat there and never said a word. Now, I felt bad but, I still had the tissue in my nose and ears:-) When that plane landed there was a mad rush to exit. I never saw stinky again..... Ahh! come on. It's funny now. I hope it never happens to me or someone I love. But if it does, I will laugh my butt off. I am not laughing at the lady. But I am laughing at situation. Imagine being trapped for five hours, not being able to open a window. Damnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
